06-12-15

Video link:  http://omeleto.com/199433/

I have been very surprised by some insights gleaned from graduation speech not long ago.  Delivered by none other than Jim Carrey.  Here are some of the highlight quotes:

"You can fail at what you don't want so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love."

"The purpose of my life had always been to free people from concern."

"I dedicated myself to that ministry, what's yours?  How will you serve the world?  What do they need that your talent can provide?"

"The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is."

"Everything in your life will rot and fall apart and all that will be left of you is what was in your heart."

"Risk being seen in all of your glory."

"It's about letting the universe know what you want and working toward it while letting go of how it comes to pass."

"Hope walks through the fire and faith leaps over it."



Hearing his address also reminds me of the motivational speaker Les Brown.  One of the most interesting points I've heard Les make when referring to how we shape our lives and our futures is this:

"How is not your business."

I have been needing to take this concept to heart.  Too long have I wanted to steer my destiny 100 percent.  I'm really striving to maintain a more "Jesus take the wheel" attitude these days.  I hope I can keep it up.

Anyway, today was a crazy busy day at the store but, as Ceci pointed out, this job does seem to suit me.  I find it interesting that while we were slammed most of the work day and I didn't get out until after 7pm, my anxious levels don't seem particularly elevated.  This pleases me.

06-11-15

As I sit back for a moment and reflect on my day, I also reflect on life and reflect on my feelings.  I am uncertain entirely what I feel.  I feel very content with the family life I am trying to build and foster.  I am pleased with the state of my marriage.  

At the same time, however, I have a sense that my life is almost on pause.  As if I'm being held back from something.  I have long suspected that God has big plans for me but I keep trying to not think about it too much, considering that I very easily start obsessing over it.  I don't like obsessing over things.  Nothing good ever results from obsessing.  

I have a good job but I don't know that it's the place I'll be five years from now.  I found out today that the company expects employees like me to remain in this retail sales position for a year before any sort of advancement or promotion.  In times past this might have been a major blow but it doesn't feel that way today.  

On the plus side, co-worker Frank was saying today that there is quite a bit of job security being in this position because it is a union job which means a manager cannot just up and fire someone willy nilly.  What a huge relief that was to hear.  I sense that my level of nerves dropped palpably upon discovering that.  

The down side from today is I've begun noticing some soreness in my left wrist.  I attribute it to typing in an uncomfortable fashion at work while standing throughout the day.  I changed up the keyboard so hopefully that will help but my co-workers apparently deal with the same thing.  Frank even had to get some physical therapy at one point.  I'm hoping that won't be me.  

06-10-15

This blog is to function as an outlet for my feelings.  Hopefully, if anybody comes my way they'll find something useful or at least sense a kindred spirit going through some similar experiences.

I deal with an anxiety/ panic disorder.  Boom.  It comes and goes, ebbs and flows.  My understanding is that serious anxiety is a fairly common issue.  I'd like to think that my "issue" is pretty significant and this is why I'm blogging.  My anxiety manifests in different ways, some of them destructive.  I hope to mitigate the destructiveness of my feelings by acknowledging and releasing them in a healthy manner rather than bottling and burying them only to blow up later.

I have a great, supportive wife who might as well function as a therapist of sorts for me but she also thinks this could be a good thing for me.  Here she is (ain't she cute?)

Yup, I'm a lucky guy.

My plan is to post at least one thing daily whether a journaling of the day, a quote I like, a relevant article, something I've learned, etc.

In a way, this whole effort is intended as an accountability journal in hopes of keeping my emotional levels stable, level, and accounted for.  Or at least as stable as possible considering that I'll never be perfectly level-headed.  I doubt anybody ever is.  Well, here's the start of something great I hope.  Should anyone else out there be following this, welcome and enjoy the ride.  :)