More free association. Ready GO!
At the moment I sense a bit of anxiousness. I think it's carry-over from work earlier today. I'm not hugely worried about it. I'm actually rather pleased with how non-affected I was when I got picked up from work and the kids were wailing in the car. I felt surprisingly fine.
I'm a bit flustered about my work-out schedule right now though. If I had my way I'd exercise every weekday but it seems hard to pull off especially with a newborn.
I think I'm gradually coming to terms with some excellent insights I heard from Ceci yesterday about finances. If we were rolling in dough financially, we wouldn't be learning financial responsibility the way we are now. I get the sense that I've spent years fantasizing about having plenty of money for a number of reasons. I really do hope that we'll be in a financially well-off enough place some day to do some good in the world. I truly do hope this. I cannot help but wonder though if I've used this as a cover-up for some underlying issues.
I'm slowly unearthing some feelings in recent days/ weeks. It seems to me now that I've equated financial independence and abundance with having worth as a person. I sense that I've deluded myself into thinking that if I don't have a secure financial standing then that means I have failed as a person therefore I am not "good enough."
Anyway, that's my contribution for today. Until tomorrow!
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